Phone Calls with Jose

Stage directions: My (alex) phone starts ringing. Caller ID: Jose Bantula. I pick up phone.

me: clearing of throat

jose: "thats right. you clear your throat for papa"

Weather Reports With Jose

It's as hot as the devils armpit in here.
oh no
its worse

it's as hot as the devils crotch!

Spelling With Jose

"whenever i forget to how to spell bananas- i refer back to this song: 'hollerback girl'. "

Texting with Jose

picture messaging to be exact....

I: "Tofu fajita style with black beans and corn tortilla. and salsa. boom!"



Jose: "I just came in mah pants"