Ballet with Jose

On whether or not Black Swan scared him "No. It just made me want to be a ballerina."

Theories with Jose

The setting: work break taking place in Madison Square Park




Me: The squirrels are insane here.

Jose: The squirrels and the rats mate. It's a theory.

Phone Calls with Jose

Stage directions: My (alex) phone starts ringing. Caller ID: Jose Bantula. I pick up phone.

me: clearing of throat

jose: "thats right. you clear your throat for papa"

Weather Reports With Jose

It's as hot as the devils armpit in here.
oh no
its worse

it's as hot as the devils crotch!

Spelling With Jose

"whenever i forget to how to spell bananas- i refer back to this song: 'hollerback girl'. "

Texting with Jose

picture messaging to be exact....

I: "Tofu fajita style with black beans and corn tortilla. and salsa. boom!"



Jose: "I just came in mah pants"

Map Skills with Jose

That's the door to Narnia for all I know.

Jose is Impatient

We were waiting like 70 minutes for her. She was tip-toeing through tulips!

Jose's Hopes for the Best

Is it homoerotic? I hope so!

Spelling with Jose

I'm gonna start spelling my name with a $ symbol like ke$ha, Jo$e.

Jose is a Mother

I once hand raised a baby bird. Breast fed it and everything.

Fashion according to Jose

I look like I am part of the Mumbai tribe.

Reality from Jose

Things always get realistic around here.

Oh My Lanta!

I thought it only appropriate that this be the inaugural quote for "Shit Jose Says." If you hear Jose say something, anything, worth posting, let me know.

We will of course have guest stars, and might turn into a whole new (smoke) monster rather quickly

But for now:

"Today I am scared for my life. We can all thank lost for that."